I wanna bring you to show and tell
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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