would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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