Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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