Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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