Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
