I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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