i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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