addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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