sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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