his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
