White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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