lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
