Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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