I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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