It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
