There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
