Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(985): View more from Louisiana

There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex

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(248): View more from Michigan

Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze

(713): View more from Texas

My liver has a boner

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".

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(258): View more from

I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve

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