he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
