dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
