I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
