sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
