Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
