we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
