420 ftw
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I enjoy the company of your penis
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize