She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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