is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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