margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
