Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
