Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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