i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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