I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
