so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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