wakey wakey hands off snakey
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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