How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
please come you make the beer taste better
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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