glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
