Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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