i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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