i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She's the barista slut.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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