Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
