I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
