I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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