trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
