I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
