Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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