Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just invented taco cereal.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
