dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
