only you would photoshop your dick
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Two words: blizzard sex
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize