nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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