you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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