whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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