I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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