Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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