Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
is wine microwaveable?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
