The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
