The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize