I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
