I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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