Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
