Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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