I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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