he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
