There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
