SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And then the night went full on bisexual.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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