It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
