I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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