Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
