Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
