Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We left an ass print on the piano.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
