I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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