ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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