I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
