the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
