the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
