i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
